I'm loosing it

I silently sang this when I was changing Tula's's dirty nappy at 2am (to the tune of Barbie Girl, by Aqua):

She's my Tutu girl
In her Tutu world
What a nappy
It's so crappy
How could my little bear
Crap this much everywhere
Excrement-ation
Poo was her creation

Come on nappy
In the trashy

(Repeat as desired, or until you lose your mind)

A Bad day'S Mothering

I know everyone has them. Those days where you just feel like nothing youre doing is right. When you suspect, in the back of your frazzled mind, that you might be ruining your poor, sweet, crying child, for ever.

I’m not sure if it’s the post Christmas let down, as our family wittles down to just the three of us again, if it’s the snowy cold weather, or if it’s teething or some other developmental milestone, but Tula has had a really rough few days.

We had two nights of very little sleep, day and night. We’re also incapable of putting her down at the moment without a heartbreaking, why – don’t- you -love -me -anymore scream fest. She’s obviously exhausted, but even putting her down to sleep, which normally might perhaps if anything raise a whimper, is now a tear inducing trauma.

And I’m just not the ‘Cry It Out’ sort of mother. Yes, I believe they need to ‘learn’. I believe that she needs to know I have her best interests at heart. I believe she can’t run the roost, so to speak.

But if I were upset, miserable, and simply not myself, and I was not physically able to tell those closest to me what was wrong, and I was ignored and left to my misery, I would very quickly develop a negative relationship with those people.

How can I expect my baby to be okay, to trust me or to believe I am looking after her interests, if I can’t be there for her in her most vulnerable times?

As my frantic little one falls asleep in her daddy’s chest after a dose of Rescue Remedy and some crushed chamomila (for the teeth) I can only hope for a better tomorrow.