Time Soars

It´s been nearly a 4 months since I last wrote in my blog and I feel guilty... hoo boy do I feel guilty. As guilty as not calling someone when I said I would, not keeping in touch with old friends, and not being able to stick to my diet... those kinds of guilt. I could rationalize that it´s because I´ve been so busy, but then the next logical question would be "with what?. This is because my days follow one after the other in a similar, if frantic pattern.

Wake up.
Feed the baby.
Cahnage nappy.
Wash baby.
Dress baby.
Check emails.
Get washed & dressed.
Play with baby.
Check emails.
Put baby to nap.
Reply to emails.
Walk in the park.
Prepare lunch.
Feed the baby.
Load laundry.
Fold dried laundry.
Play with baby.
Feed the baby.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Sing to baby or watch cbbeeies together.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make lunch or wash the dishes after lunch.
Hang laundry. Load washer with the next batch.
Feed the baby.
Try to work, answer emails, write in the blog.
Feed the baby. Think about dinner.
Change the baby´s nappy.
Make dinner or wash the dishes.
Check on laundry. Hang laundry.
Feed baby.
Bath baby.
Check emails.
work on website while hubby plays video games.
Sleep.


And.... wash, rinse, repeat. It feels like Groundhog Day with the difference being- believe it or not, the days blend in together because I have a love hate relationship with this routine. It involves spending a lot of time and energy taking care of a little person I care deeply about so, like any mother with child, the experience can be liberating, rewarding, humbling and exasperating, all rolled into one. With this type of schedule, time does not only fly, but soars to limits I cannot imagine.

I wish nappy changes would go quicker and become fewer and further apart in instances from each other. I wish time with hubby would be more frequent and longer. I wish I had more of my time alone with myself... but then immediately think no, I shouldn´t feel this way. After all, it was our decision to love and raise our daughter, and it is a decision we have to see through, otherwise it would not be fair to her or to us as a family unit.

So, I´ll take the busy, routine days. I´ll withstand the nappy changes and the poo smells associated with this task. I´ll accept the interrupted sleep and the eyebags that follow. I´ll take time passing like a speeding locomotive and just pray that I am nimble enough to step out of its way. I will also pray that I get lucky, and that some days will see the fruits of my labour in my little girl´s smile. And then I will realize that time soars, and it is carrying me higher and higher, past all the boundaries that I want to overcome.

And as these tribulations become but specks in the distance, I will only look forward to a new day with new challenges, and hope that time will be on my side once again.